When navigating conflict and collaborating—and in life in general—one of the most important things we can do to set ourselves up for success is to focus on interests and not positions. To do this effectively, we need to understand and pay attention to the full range of interests that matter to ourselves and others. This blog provides a primer on how to do this.
Before we dive in, a quick reminder about what an interest is (and how it is different from a position):
- A position is a particular solution or strategy that we have in mind for how to resolve an issue or address a situation. In other words, it is the “what” (what we think should be done) and “how” (how we think the problem should be addressed). If you are set on a particular way of resolving a problem or believe you know what the right or best way to proceed is, that is a position.
- In contrast, our interests are our fundamental needs and concerns related to a situation. They are our “why”—they are why something really matters to us. To understand our interests and those of others, we want to ask, “what really matters here?” or “why is this important?” Focusing on interests (and not positions) means we stop fixating on what solution or strategy is “right” or “best” (which often limits us from exploring other, often better, ways of addressing the situation) to instead prioritize figuring out solutions that meet our needs and those of others who are impacted by the situation.
For more on the basics of interests vs positions, I encourage you to check out our Interests vs Positions handout and our blogs on Interests, positions, and conflict—Oh, my!, Want to make conflict productive? Focus on what really matters, and To overcome divisiveness, we need to focus on interests (and not positions).
We have different kinds of interests—and they all matter
To truly understand interests and learn how to put them front and center in conflict situations and in all aspects of your life, it helps to understand that we have different kinds of interests, and that they all matter and need to be attended to.
Christopher Moore, author of the book “The Mediation Process,” developed the Triangle of Satisfaction as a way of understanding our diversity of interests—i.e., the different kinds of needs and concerns that need to be satisfied in any given situation. The basic idea is that we have three distinct but interconnected types of interests:
- Substantive interests: Needs and concerns related to the tangible outcome of how a situation is addressed;
- Emotional/relational interests: Needs and concerns related to our emotions, psychological impacts, and relationships; and
- Procedural interests: Needs and concerns related to the process by which the situation is addressed and decisions are made.
Below, I provide my visual representation of the Triangle of Satisfaction, in which each type of interest is a corner of the triangle. When navigating conflict and challenging situations, it is helpful to remember that, for everyone to be satisfied with the outcome of a situation, everyone’s needs in each corner of the triangle need to be addressed.
I also like to keep this visual in mind since I find it helpful to think about the Triangle of Satisfaction like an iceberg. Hence, I have drawn a line across the top to reflect the fact that our substantive needs and concerns tend to be more visible or easier to focus on (i.e., they are the tip of the iceberg), whereas our equally, if not more, important procedural and emotional/relational needs and concerns tend to be harder to see and more likely to be overlooked (i.e., they are the “below the water” part of the iceberg). An example of this: Often people focus on their substantive concerns when what really matters to them is feeling heard and considered. This is why we often find that even when we or others “get what we want” from a conflict situation, we aren’t truly satisfied.
Let me illustrate all of this with an example
Let me illustrate these key ideas—positions vs interests, different kinds of interests, and the iceberg of interests—with a simple real-life example:
Imagine you, as an employee, feel strongly that you deserve a raise. The demand or belief “I need a raise!” is a position.
When you recognize that your desire for a raise is a position, that opens space for you to get curious about why you feel you need a raise: What are the interests behind that position?
As you start examining your fundamental needs and concerns, you might rather quickly realize that the desire for a raise reflects concern about being able to put your kids through college and being able to keep up your standard of living amid increasing costs. These are substantive interests.
Your substantive interests are important and worth keeping in mind. However, there are likely other important (perhaps more important) interests at play, including ones that might not be so easy to see or recognize. For example, if you continue to explore why you feel so strongly that you deserve a raise, especially if you get really honest with yourself and dig deep, you might find that you feel underappreciated in your workplace. Perhaps what really matters is feeling more valued by your employer, especially since you have taken on new duties and greater responsibility. Now you are getting into the terrain of emotional/relational interests.
Through deep reflection, you may also find it feels important that there be a fair process by which decisions about pay and raises are made, so that people who, like you, are going above and beyond in their work can be compensated fairly. As you think about this, perhaps you realize that lack of fairness—and your desire to have employment decisions made in a fair and transparent way—is what is really irking you. This is the realm of procedural interests.
In this situation, if you only focus on your substantive concerns, you might successfully get the raise you want only to find that something still doesn’t feel right: the situation still doesn’t feel fair. You are getting paid more but still don’t feel truly valued. This is why we need to look beyond the tip of our interests iceberg.
Additionally, when we are clear about the full range of what really matters to us, it opens up more space for creative and effective problem-solving. For example, imagine a situation where the company is not giving out raises this year. By focusing on your broad range of interests and not a particular solution or strategy, you can explore other ways of meeting your needs, such as:
- Using a tuition program for employees’ children, which can help put your kids through college
- Arranging to work from home more, which could reduce transportation costs and other expenses (such as eating meals out due to limited time)
- Negotiating a job title change to reflect your actual responsibilities
- Having your supervisor nominate you for awards or other recognition
- Helping your company work toward a more fair and transparent system for making decisions about promotions and raises by simply bringing this to your supervisor’s attention or offering to be part of a committee that leads this effort
The basic takeaway: When we are clear on what really matters to us and others—including our various substantive, emotional/relational, and procedural interests—we can pursue options that truly meet people’s needs, get creative in finding solutions that will truly satisfy the diversity of concerns, and avoid advocating for or agreeing to things that won’t truly lead to good outcomes for everyone involved.
A few final thoughts
As you practice with understanding and focusing on different kinds of interests and the Triangle of Satisfaction, here are a few things to keep in mind.
- It is helpful to keep in mind that all kinds of interests—substantive, emotional/relational, and procedural—matter and need to be considered. That said, don’t worry about trying to put your interests and those of others neatly into these buckets. Often, our interests cut across these categories (e.g., feeling considered is both somewhat emotional/relational and procedural). The goal isn’t to put things in categories; it is to use these categories to help you make sure you’re not missing something important.
- Do your best to stay curious (which requires staying calm) and to avoid passing judgement of yourself or others as you try to understand interests. As soon as we slide into a critical state of mind, we preclude our ability to really understand and acknowledge what matters. For example, if you supervise an employee who expresses to you that they don’t feel valued by the organization, you might find yourself jumping to thoughts such as “What? But we gave you a raise last year!” Instead, it is much more helpful to get curious to try to understand what really matters to the employee (or yourself, if you’re the person in the situation of still feeling unvalued despite getting a raise).
- Practice using the Nine Whys exercise I describe in this blog. This is a great way to get curious and to peel back the layers of the interests onion to get to what really matters.
- As you go through your day—including while interacting with others and reading or listening to the news—pay attention to the positions people express and listen for what key substantive, emotional/relational, and procedural interests might underlie those positions. This is a powerful way to build your muscle for focusing on interests (including the full range of interests) rather than positions.
Whenever I feel stuck in life, I find that tuning into my full range of interests (and trying to understand those of others) helps me stay centered in what really matters and forge a productive pathway forward. I hope you do as well—and have fun with it!
Danya Rumore, Ph.D., is the director of the Environmental Dispute Resolution program in the Wallace Stegner Center at the University of Utah. She is a research professor in the S.J. Quinney College of Law and a clinical associate professor in the city and metropolitan planning department at the University of Utah. She teaches about, practices, and conducts research on conflict, negotiation, dispute resolution, leadership, and collaborative problem solving. She is also the founder and a co-director of the Gateway and Natural Amenity Region (GNAR) Initiative.
About the EDR blog: Hosted by the Wallace Stegner Center’s Environmental Dispute Resolution (EDR) program, the EDR blog shares ideas, tools, and resources to cultivate a culture of collaboration and help readers be more skillful in working through conflict. Read additional blog posts at edrblog.org.